Spiritual Leaders | Sermon | The Grove Church, Port St. Lucie

How to Know What Leaders to Trust

A good spiritual leader labors like a mother in childbirth, and the aim is nothing but Christ formed in you.

Summary

In Galatians 4:12–20 Paul confronts a church that had been won over by teachers who flattered them for their own gain. David Hancock, pastor of The Grove Church in Port St. Lucie, Florida, traces the pattern back to Eden, where a serpent posed as a better spiritual guide and offered the inheritance without the God who gives it. Paul answers with two marks of a leader who can be trusted: the aim is that Christ is formed in you, and the love feels like the anguish of childbirth. The passage ends where the strength to lead comes from, at the cross, where Christ endured the labor for the joy of making enemies into family.

Key Takeaways

Flattery and manipulation are the serpent’s oldest tools; a false leader makes much of you so that you will make much of him.
A trustworthy leader aims at your character and not merely at your success, so that Christ is formed in you.
Paul, a hard man, described his love for the Galatians as the anguish of childbirth, pain endured willingly so another person can be formed.
Everyone leads someone, so the test applies twice: to the leaders you follow and to the kind of leader you are becoming.

Read Galatians 4:12-20 (ESV)

Brothers, I entreat you, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You did me no wrong. You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. What then has become of your blessedness? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me. Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth? They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them. It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you, my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.

Talk about it

1. Think of someone whose influence actually changed you for the better; a coach, a teacher, a parent, a friend. What did that person do that earned your trust?

The Serpent and the Letter: Why Is It So Hard to Find People You Can Trust?

The inheritance Paul keeps pressing on the Galatians reaches back to Eden, and it is threefold: a land, a people, and the blessing of God’s own presence. This sermon follows the middle strand, the people. Humanity flourished together in Eden because humanity lived under the spiritual leadership of God Himself. Then a serpent came in claiming to be a better guide, offering the inheritance without the One who gives it: eat, and you will be like God, deciding good and evil for yourself. Humanity ate, and the family we were made for was lost. Families fracture, friendships thin out, and doing life alone begins to look like wisdom rather than wreckage.

Picture yourself in Galatia, lonely, a marriage coming apart, children who want nothing to do with you, a boss who uses you, and no idea how to fix any of it. Then a sick man comes to town, and while he heals he starts preaching news about a man named Jesus, the Son of God, who died in your place and credited His record to you. Something in you believes, and it happens to your neighbors too. Over time fathers are present again, marriages fill with laughter, friendships become places of trust, and the region loves Paul for it; they received him as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus, and would have gouged out their own eyes and handed them to him. Then Paul leaves, and the Judaizers arrive with letters of recommendation and a different message: Paul cannot be trusted, and the inheritance must be earned by keeping the law. Verse 17 exposes the motive. They made much of the Galatians so that the Galatians would make much of them. It is the serpent’s oldest move, manipulation aimed at his own glory.

KEY WORD: JUDAIZERS The Judaizers were traveling teachers in the first century who taught that faith in Jesus was not enough; a person also had to keep the Jewish law to be fully accepted by God. Teachers on the move in that world carried letters of recommendation, roughly the ancient version of online reviews, and a letter from a well-known leader gave a stranger instant authority in a town that had never met him. Paul’s letter to the Galatians was written against their teaching.

Talk about it

2. Paul asks in verse 16, “Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?” The Galatians came to see the man who loved them as a threat and the men using them as friends. Who tells you the truth even when it costs them something, and how do you usually respond to that person?

3. The sermon said flatterers and manipulators make much of you so that you will make much of them. Where have you been flattered recently, and what was the flatterer hoping to get?

Labor and Aim: What Does a Trustworthy Spiritual Leader Actually Look Like?

Paul grants that being made much of is good, provided it is for a good purpose, and in verse 19 he names the purpose: Christ formed in you. That is the first marker of a leader worth following. The aim is not your performance or your platform; the aim is that you are shaped into someone with love, joy, and peace under pressure, brave and humble, wise beyond your years. The second marker is how Paul describes his love. He calls himself a mother in the anguish of childbirth; a hard man who took beatings for the gospel reaches for the picture of pain endured willingly so that someone else can be born and formed. Put the two together and the big idea stands. A good spiritual leader labors like a mother in childbirth, and the aim is nothing but Christ formed in you.

Talk about it

4. Run the sermon’s test on the voices you actually listen to, the podcasts, the authors, the accounts you follow: are they willing to endure the pains of childbirth for you to be formed into Christlikeness? Which ones pass, and which ones only want your attention?

The Choice: What Kind of Leader Will You Follow, and Become?

Two choices follow. The first is whom you will listen to. The world hands out letters of recommendation that look like success and influence, and we assume success means a person can be trusted with our souls. Size is not the issue; a large church can be healthy and a small one can be abusive. The issue is whether the leader labors for you or feeds on you. The second choice is what kind of leader you will be, because everyone leads someone: parents, group leaders, bosses, anyone people listen to. Scripture calls husbands and fathers to lead sacrificially, which is another way of describing childbirth. Sacrificial does not mean passive; it means becoming a wall of love, joy, peace, and grace that keeps standing, fighting for your people to be formed into who they were made to be.

Talk about it

5. The sermon said a church being formed this way will not look impressive to the world; it will look like childbirth. Are you drawn to leaders because they look successful or because the people around them are becoming like Christ?

6. Name one person you lead, whether as a parent, a spouse, a boss, a friend, or a group leader. What would it look like this month to labor for that person’s character and not only for that person’s success?

The Heart of It: What Did Christ Endure to Make You a Family?

The strength to lead anyone like this does not come from trying harder. Paul writes that as we behold the glory of God in the face of Christ, we are transformed into His image. Children of God are made in His image. We are like mirrors, and a mirror becomes whatever it beholds. If you make Christ your spiritual leader, you will slowly become like Him. So look at Him. On the cross He labored over you and called it joy, not because the labor was joy but because of what the labor would give Him. He held your sin, entered the pain of death and hell, and rose carrying you to the Father. The leader worth following went first, endured the anguish, and made a family out of people who had nothing to offer Him.

2 CORINTHIANS 3:18 “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

Talk about it

7. Christ endured the labor of the cross for the joy of holding you as family. If that is true of Him, what is He asking you to endure for the people He has placed in your care?

Questions This Sermon Answers

What does Galatians 4:12–20 mean?

Paul reminds the Galatians that they once received him as a messenger of God, and asks why he has become their enemy now that he has told them the truth. Rival teachers were making much of the Galatians in order to be made much of themselves. Paul contrasts that with his own love, which he compares to a mother in labor until Christ is formed in them.

How do you know if a spiritual leader can be trusted?

Two marks separate a leader from a flatterer. First, the aim: a trustworthy leader works so that Christ is formed in you, not so that your success reflects well on him. Second, the cost: real spiritual leadership feels like childbirth, pain the leader absorbs willingly. Flattery is easy to find and costs the flatterer nothing.

What does it mean that Christ is formed in you?

Paul’s goal was not that the Galatians would behave better but that they would take on the character of Jesus: love, joy, and peace under pressure, courage joined to humility, wisdom beyond their years. Scripture says this happens as a person beholds Christ; people are mirrors, and a mirror becomes whatever it looks at.

Vision for the Christian Life

For the church to become a people who labor over one another like a mother in childbirth: parents, husbands, bosses, and group leaders whose aim is not success but Christ formed in the person in front of them, enduring with patience until the Treasure Coast sees us as a heavenly family on the earth.

Discussion Questions for Small Groups: Galatians 4

Think of someone whose influence actually changed you for the better; a coach, a teacher, a parent, a friend. What did that person do that earned your trust?
Paul asks in verse 16, “Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?” The Galatians came to see the man who loved them as a threat and the men using them as friends. Who tells you the truth even when it costs them something, and how do you usually respond to that person?
The sermon said flatterers and manipulators make much of you so that you will make much of them. Where have you been flattered recently, and what was the flatterer hoping to get?
Run the sermon’s test on the voices you actually listen to, the podcasts, the authors, the accounts you follow: are they willing to endure the pains of childbirth for you to be formed into Christlikeness? Which ones pass, and which ones only want your attention?
The sermon said a church being formed this way will not look impressive to the world; it will look like childbirth. Are you drawn to leaders because they look successful or because the people around them are becoming like Christ?
Name one person you lead, whether as a parent, a spouse, a boss, a friend, or a group leader. What would it look like this month to labor for that person’s character and not only for that person’s success?
Christ endured the labor of the cross for the joy of holding you as family. If that is true of Him, what is He asking you to endure for the people He has placed in your care?

Related Messages in This Series

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Pastor David Hancock is the Lead Pastor of The Grove Church in Port St. Lucie, FL, a church where believers and skeptics wrestle honestly with faith and doubt.

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Read the full sermon manuscript

The best way to grow is by finding a great leader. If you want to be a professional athlete, you look for the best coach; if you want to be successful in your career, you look for the best mentor. But what if you want to become someone of great love, joy, peace, and strength? If you want to grow in character and wisdom? If you want to become the kind of man who leads his family well. If you want to become something eternal, now? Where do you look? The people of the church. Yet too often, in churches, we find leaders who seem to be working for their people but are actually working for their own glory. They flatter you to grow their following and make a name for themselves and will drop you when you are no longer useful to them. This is not just in the church; these flatterers are everywhere. We all need people who can help us grow, but how do we recognize good leaders who are for us, who are very hard to find, by the way, from bad leaders, flatterers who are easy to find, who use us for their own glory? And more than that, how do we make sure we don’t become like these flatterers?

We are in our series called Christian freedom in Paul’s letter to the Galatians. Today my aim is that you would leave here not only knowing what to look for in someone who can lead you well, but that you would become someone who leads others well.

“Brothers, I entreat you, become as I am, for I also have become as you are. You did me no wrong. You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first, and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. What then has become of your blessedness? For I testify to you that, if possible, you would have gouged out your eyes and given them to me. Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth? They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them. It is always good to be made much of for a good purpose, and not only when I am present with you, my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.” (Galatians 4:12–20, ESV)

Though it isn’t mentioned in our verses, the word inheritance is front and center, pulled from the preceding verses. An inheritance is something passed down to family members, specifically sons and daughters. It’s a word that is rooted all through Scripture and reaches all the way back to the beginning on page 2 of the bible in Eden. This inheritance is threefold. As children of God in Eden, we had this inheritance of land, people, and blessing.

The land is Eden; the blessing is the love, joy, and peace that comes from God’s presence. Today, Paul points our attention to the people.

In Eden, unity with God brought perfect love, joy, and peace among humanity. Why? They were under the spiritual leadership of God himself. God cared for them like a Father, so under God’s care they flourished together.

But on page three of the Bible, a serpent slithers in. Now please, don’t only think of a serpent alone; the Hebrew word for serpent and for a kind of angel sounds similar. There is likely a play on words that is forcing us to think of an evil fallen angel.

He has come disguised as an angel of light, beautiful in appearance, to stir a rebellion against God, and he claims to be a type of spiritual authority, positioning himself as a spiritual guide to Adam and Eve.

What does he want? Well, many scholars, like Michael Heiser, by looking at Isaiah 14 and Ezekiel 28, say that Satan's motives are those of pride, and more specifically, he wants to make a name for himself. He wants to be like God and even take His throne.

Look even at the temptation he offers to Adam and Eve. Eat of this fruit and you will be like God. The inheritance can be yours without being under the spiritual leadership of God. You can be your own leader, learn from yourself how to live; you can decide what is good and evil.

As soon as humanity ate, we lost the inheritance and lost God.

Without God as our spiritual Father, we find ourselves at war with each other, divided, unable to find unity.

That’s why we feel lonely, excluded, like we don’t belong.

Now our relationships all fall apart. Families are broken; fathers leave.

Friendships are lost; neighbors become our enemies.

We have been hurt, abandoned, wounded by too many people. We decided we will do it alone because no one can be trusted.

But this is leaving us lonelier and more depressed than ever.

You know in our area, one of the greatest injustices we see is something we are doing to ourselves. We are isolating. Talk to new people who move to our area, and they will tell you, man, people around here just kinda stick to themselves.

What’s clear is the family and people we are made for are lost.

But there is hope. Long ago, there was a man Paul keeps talking about in this letter. Abraham. God told him, go to the land I will show you, I will make you into the father of many nations, and through you all the families of the earth will be blessed.

Specifically, in our verses, the promise of a restored people is in view. Orphans who become sons and daughters again, united to God and each other by faith.

But still, where are the people you can trust? Why can’t you find them?

Imagine you live in this city called Galatia. You were experiencing loneliness and depression; your marriage was falling apart; your kids didn’t want anything to do with you; your earthly father was absent; friendships felt weak at best; your coworkers couldn’t be trusted; and your boss only used you for his gain.

You were stuck in this prison, not knowing how to fix it.

But then a sick man, with some kind of affliction, comes into town. While he is healing, he starts teaching about what he calls the gospel. This good and joyful news, that if you hear it and it doesn’t sound like the greatest news you have ever heard you are likely misunderstanding it.

You go and listen to Paul. He has quite the story of redemption, and he starts talking about a man named Jesus who saved Him. He even said this Jesus was the Son of God who came to redeem us from our sin by dying in our place, and accomplishing everything that was required of us and crediting it to our record.

Paul pushed you to have a paradigm shift. To discover that gaining the good life, the inheritance, coming into the presence of God wasn’t about following the rules or obeying God; it was all about faith in this Christ, this Son of God.

Something pricked your heart, and you couldn’t help but believe; you tried to fight it, but the truth took hold of you. And not you alone, but many through the region of Galatia.

Over time you found fathers were more present, marriages began to be filled with love and joy. Laughter rang through houses. It was all also happening to you. Your family felt filled with love, your boss started to care about you, your neighbors had your back, and your friendships finally felt like people you could trust.

They whole region loved Paul for bringing God to them and them to God.

In verse 14 it says they received him as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. Meaning, like an ambassador is welcomed as the very king he represents, treated with honor, so they did with Paul as a representative of Christ Himself.

In verse 15, it even says they loved him so much they would have gouged out their eyes for him. This might be hinting that his ailment was a problem with his eyes.

Paul cherished them. He calls them brothers in vs. 12. This is a family-like bond that Christianity made popular. The original bro.

We have been talking much about what Christianity is, but here we are looking at the relational love and trust it produces. It was the people promised to Abraham! It came true right there in this unlikely region.

But; after Paul heals up he leaves to start the same kind of moment in other areas.

When he does, a group of traveling spiritual teachers called the Judaizers slither in and claim to be spiritual teachers.

It’s common for traveling teachers to carry with them letters of recommendation. Think of them like ancient Google reviews.

We can’t know for sure, but it seems they might have claimed to have a letter from James, Jesus’ half-brother and leader of the church in Jerusalem.

If they did have a letter, it would be fake, but the Galatians wouldn’t have known it. So if they had a letter, Judaizers would have immediate influence and authority. And then they say that Paul is not to be trusted. He has led you astray.

The real way to the inheritance, and this blessing of life with God and others, is not by faith in Christ alone; you must first follow the rules and keep the law.

It makes sense, right? The more we act like God has called us to act, the more flourishing we have. Yet in reality it’s damning.

Why is this following God’s ways so wrong? It’s not that the law is bad, it’s when you treat the law as the path to salvation that you loose the salvation you seek.

The Judaizers are saying, change your behavior and you can get into God’s presence, when Christianity is saying it’s faith alone, in Christ alone, by grace alone that brings you into God’s presence.

Then in His presence, He empowers you to live as you were meant to live.

You are never going to be good enough to make it into His presence by the law, so you will never have the power to live as you were meant to live.

So you must enter by grace and be empowered to live as a family.

Your love, joy, and peace among each other don’t earn your way to His presence; it’s a product of His presence.

So why are the Judaizers bringing this potential fake letter and this twisted message? For their own glory.

Look at verse 17: The Judaizers are trying to make much of the Galatians. It’s like they are courting them. Going on and on to the Galatians about how great they are, and how they are the type of people who follow the rules.

But they are doing it for their own glory, and the Galatians can’t see it.

Paul finds this out and writes them and says here, the Judaizers are actually shutting the Galatians out of the inheritance and enslaving them to their old life.

And it’s like the Judaizers knew Paul would be a problem for them, so they have already done the work to turn Paul into someone the Galatians can’t trust.

Paul in verse.15 says what has become of your blessedness? In other words, they were the people promised. A picture of a new humanity, Paul and the Galatians together.

But now in vs. 16 Paul asks, “Have I become your enemy by telling you the truth?”

Now notice, this is just what the snake did in the Garden. Trick Adam and Eve into thinking God was holding out on them; holding them back for God’s own gain.

The Judaizers are following the same tricks. They convinced them that Paul wasn’t for them, but was using them to make a name for himself, when it was the Judaizers who were using the Galatians to make much of themselves.

In the movie Tangled, Rapunzel has magical hair that can keep people young. A woman named Gothel steals Rapunzel from her parents when she is a baby and pretends to be her mother. Gothel keeps Rapunzel in a tower and convinces Rapunzel it is for her own good. Her repeated phrase was, mother knows best. She didn’t care for Rapunzel, but convinced Rapunzel that she did.

This is just what the Judaizers are doing to the Galatians, and the Galatian have no idea it is being done to them.

Today, there are many so called spiritual leaders with great recommendation letters to the world. Those recommendation letters look like success. We think if someone is successful, it means we should listen to them and entrust our souls to them.

From churches to business leaders, financial advisors, and success gurus.

I’m not saying all big churches are bad and success is bad. I’m suggesting that just because a church is big doesn’t mean it’s healthy, and just because someone or something is successful doesn’t mean the leaders care for you.

And this can be any church leader or church size. I’ve heard stories from big to small churches where there is abuse of power from leaders, and their message keeps going like this: mother knows best.

They flatter you, win you over, for their own gain, just like the serpent.

If this is even found in the church, how do we know who we can trust? There are two things to look for in someone who is trustworthy: 1st, they are seeking to form in Christ.

Paul says it’s good to be made much of but for a good purpose.

What is that good purpose? In verse 19, Paul says all that he does is so the Galatians can be formed in Christ.

The aim of any leader must be that you are shaped and formed up into Christ. To have love, joy, and peace no matter what you face. To be brave but humble. Wise beyond your years. To be like Christ is to be made of the stuff of heaven.

Even your coaches and teachers, the ones to be trusted, are those who are concerned about your character, not just your success.

The 2nd marker to look for is love like a mother giving birth.

Paul says he is in the anguish of childbirth for the Galatians.

Now this is a strange way to view his spiritual care for them.

Paul is a tough man, yet he sees himself as a mother in labor, in pain, so they might be born and formed into Christ.

Now I’ve seen childbirth; I was there in the room. No epidurals, just pain. But then when each of my kids were born, the look on my wife’s face was complete and utter love, joy, peace, and relief.

That’s what a good leader leads like. They endure with patience and pain and have great joy and relief when you are formed up into Christ. It’s not for them or their glory, but you becoming who you are made to be.

So the big idea is this: a good spiritual teacher and leader labors like a mother in the pain of childbirth, and their aim is nothing but Christ being formed in you.

That is the test for every leader in your life: Are they willing to endure the pains of childbirth for you to be formed into Christlikeness?

Richard Baxter, a pastor in the 1600s, pastored his congregation in a small English town for seventeen years. He was chronically ill his whole adult life (kidney stones, tuberculosis, constant pain). He was convinced nearly every year would be his last. But his love for his people led to urgency. So he said: “I preached as never sure to preach again, and as a dying man to dying men.”

Can you pray for me that I would have the courage and conviction to love you all like that? Like a mother in labor over you?

You have a choice to make about who you will listen to and grow from. Will you follow the fads? Will you follow those who are successful? Who seem to have influence and authority? Will you follow those who flatter you? Or will you look for leaders who love you like a mother in childbirth with the aim of forming in you Christ?

If you do, over time, through much labor, you will find yourself part of a people who feel like a family.

That probably means you won’t be part of something that looks amazing to the world, but it will be something heavenly, humble, life giving, here on the earth.

And you will look around and see people slowly becoming who they are made to be.

It won’t look pretty, it will look like childbirth, but overtime you will have the joy of seeing people, a family, grow into who they are made to be.

That is what the church is. Sinners growing into Christlikeness. Will relationships be hard? Yes. But over time, you will find yourself part of a healthy and growing family.

But you must also see that we are all spiritual leaders. Maybe we are parents, husbands, discipleship group leaders, or we are in a discipleship group and there is someone there you can pour into. Maybe you are a boss, a business owner, or just someone people listen to.

What kind of leader will you be?

Will you lead for your gain or to form people up in Christ?

It’s not enough to just want to see them be successful; you must be concerned for their souls. Bosses don’t just care for the business or even the success of your people, teachers don’t just care for the grades, coaches don’t just care for the wins, there is a larger game being played.

Pray for those you lead, lead them as Christ would, and be prepared if they ever ask, why you lead with such love, joy, and peace.

Husbands and Fathers, I’d like to talk to you specifically. Scripture calls you to be the spiritual leader of your family.

Paul in Ephesians says that looks like loving your wife like Christ loved the church, who gave himself for her. That’s another way to talk of childbirth. Sacrificial.

But let me be clear, sacrificial doesn’t mean passively letting everyone in your family always get what they want by your sacrifice.

Your love means you sacrifice for your wife and children, and do what it takes to form them into Christlikeness. That is your aim.

Sacrificial love doesn’t mean letting people run over you in a passive way; no, you become like a brick wall of love, joy, and peace, and grace that you keep offering your family, and teaching them to walk in the ways of Christ, and fight for them to be formed into who they are made to be.

Wives pray for your husbands to lead your family well. And follow them as they do. They won’t be perfect, but if you follow them, as they follow Christ, you will see your family transformed.

How do we get the strength to endure and lead others like Paul?

We look to Christ.

The way to be formed into Him is to look at Him. To behold Him.

2 cor. 3:18 and 4:6 say as we behold the glory of God in a face of Christ we are being transformed into His image. That means to become like Him we must look at Him.

He is the perfector of our faith when we look at Him.

What happens the more we look at Him, seek Him, and worship Him? Transformation

How does worshipping Christ transform us to look like Him?

Children of God are made in God’s image. It means we are mirrors. A mirror becomes whatever it beholds. Make Christ your spiritual leader and you will become like Him.

When you look at Him what do you see?

The God who labored over you on the cross but saw it as joy. Not because the labor was joy but because of what it would give Him. You transformed into who you are made to be.

He was like a woman in labor on the cross, enduring because of what it would be like to finally be able to hold us and form us into a family with Him as our big brother.

So He climbed the cross for you. He held all of your sin; He entered the pain of death and hell, and there he held us and rose, carrying us in His arms to the Father and making us into a family. Lead the world to Him, and you will find this family.